Gathering: March 7, 2007

On the first Wednesday of the month we have three periods of sitting and walking meditation.

During the discussion which followed, we each shared how our practice of mindful speech had unfolded throughout the week. Our experiences varied, from discovering that a typical week did not supply many opportunities for deep listening and compassionate speech, to observing how an unmindful remark can suddenly change the mood and create defensiveness in the listener. For me, I learned that my mindfulness is not yet at a level where I am able to catch my words before they leave my mouth, and instead I am left analysing the motivations and consequences of my remarks after the fact.

The story that I relayed to the group was about a conversation I was having with a friend. He began to tell me a story, and part way through I laughed at one of his remarks thinking that I knew what direction his story was going. This got me a strange look from the storyteller. As he continued, I realized his story was going in a much different direction, and my laugh was quite out of place. Thinking about this after the fact I realized it was not only a good illustration of where deep listening and mindful speech would have been useful, but it also illustrated an unrecognized trait in myself. When I laughed, it was not because what he said was particularly funny, but because I thought that was the reaction he wanted. In my own way I was trying to be considerate, and to be a good listener by giving him the feedback he wanted, but this was not true deep listening, and my laugh was an example of unmindful speech.

After our discussion we decided to continue with our efforts for the coming week, and discuss our experiences next week.